Addicted To Being Addicted
Drinking to me started out of as a necessity to escape. It's hard to face your problems head on and admit you need help with them. It's easy to suppress them in alcohol, especially when all your friends invite you out on the weekends to do just that. I like many people have an addictive personality. If I feel something I like once, I’ll do it again and again to the point of obsession. Knowing that I obsess over the way I do things. I have to constantly re-teach myself how to obsess over the positives.
Three years ago, I replaced my drinking with squatting. I told myself every night you drink you have to squat the next morning. At first, It was painful, squatting heavy at 5 am after drinking all night is brutal. The more hungover I was made it more painful which meant the less weight I could squat. After some time, my addiction changed I cared more about my numbers and form then I did the drinking. Squatting every day was my addiction I was able to handle more problems in the squat rack oppose to hiding from them in alcohol.
Over the past few months, I have found myself in a similar situation as I let myself get out of the gym more and more my addiction went from squatting back to alcohol. When I asked a mentor of mine for help they challenged me to once again stop drinking and refocus my obsession on something else. Again, I chose fitness I went back to squatting every day and this time I added boxing as well. I had to force myself to squat every day and teach myself a new skill in boxing. After doing this whole process again I found a similar outcome. My addiction has gone from drinking to boxing and squatting, but it’s also forced me to think about and remember things I learned the first time around. Without alcohol in my body my mind is clear, clearer then I realized it could be. I started to re-understand the difference between things I can and can't control. I understand that who I was or what I have done in the past doesn't define me. Without alcohol I treat people better, I'm more honest and open about how to think and feel. My addiction now is feeling good, if I go back to alcohol my mind and body won’t feel as good as it does now. I never knew I could feel as good as I do. I’m addicted to feeling good.
The last few years I've been fortunate enough to have sought out the right mentors and done the right research to learn how to redirect my additions. In the past anytime I tried to give up drinking, I didn't understand an addictive mind, so I never replaced it with a positive. Now I found something positive I cared about and slowly used it to replace bad addictions. I suggest to start where I did and replace it with barbell therapy.
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