Why Your Water Bottle Is Stupid

John Fosco


      When did it become normal to spend $100 to keep water cold? The answer is now. Our society embraces spending $100 to buy a canteen that looks like you are going on an expedition with Bear Grylls, when in reality you are on your way to Biology 101. This is not normal. If they only knew that a Max Effort Muscle shaker cup could not only hold their water in an extremely cold state, but also could hold anything from protein powder, post-workout powder, pre-workout, and test booster pills in the bottom compartment, they definitely would not be carrying around something named after a beast (yeti) that roams the Himalaya’s.


      So I ask everyone to look at their water bottle, and I pose a question: Is that circular, disgusting looking, piece of trash really worth $100? You don’t even need to answer, I will answer for you. The answer is no! Is the Max Effort Muscle Shaker Cup, with a convenient handle, beautiful coloring, fantastic markings in the form of a logo, and convenient carrying vestibules a better option? I think we all know the answer. YES!


      To cap it all off and put the icing on the cake, our shaker cups are a fraction, of a fraction, of a fraction, of the price of your snow-traveling monster canteen that you pay $100 for. So the same way I opened this article, I will close it: your water bottle is stupid! Make the switch.


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